Aloha Mr. Hair

The Pacific Ocean is huge. It took us just under 16 hours to cross it in a plane, though I did have a TV screen embedded in the seat in front of me. This, I suppose, made my trip across the world's largest ocean easier than, say, Magellan's. But we compare ourselves to our contemporaries, so I felt some bratty jealousy when I walked through first class during deboarding. If economy class is comprised of vaguely reclining seats and business class contains lounge chairs, then first class passengers are situated in what can only be called cubicles. They have two seats! And there's an entire executive's desk where the tray table should be complete with a paperweight that reads "Person of the Year."

My brother, Matt, flew a different airline than Jillian and I, so we agreed to meet "somewhere" in the Bangkok airport. We also staged a small competition over who would enjoy the best movie viewing experience during the flight. I won going away, mostly because I was able to view two episodes of the original Star Trek.

After 24 hours of travel and the international dateline to really screw things up, we arrived to our hostel about as biologically confused as you can get: our bodies had no idea what time it was. Did I want a beer or an orange juice? Was I even hungry? And what's my name again? So we set out from the hostel, determined to power through until at least sunset.

The streets of Bangkok are swarming with tuk-tuks, a vehicle slightly more evolved than a riding lawn mower. It seats three and the drivers don't have the most sterling reputation for honesty in dealings with Westerners. In our hostel alone there were a dozen posted warnings about tuk-tuk scams, mostly involving driving unwitting passengers to ripoff jade markets instead of their preferred destination. As we strolled around the neighborhood near our hostel--a mix of historic sights, cheap food stalls, and transvestite prostitutes--a group of tuk-tuk drivers called out to us. Want a ride? No. Very cheap! I'm sure. Then one of them rubbed his hand across his chin, miming my beard, and called out, "Mr. Hair! Mr. Hair! Come on, Mr. Hair!" I guess he just didn't know the word and soon the entire row of drivers was at it, a chorus calling out for this Mr. Hair.

A tuk-tuk

Outside the National Museum

On Friday Matt and I wore matching purple medical scrubs. Not on purpose and not all day: when we visited the Royal Palace we discovered that pants are required. While Jillian was lent a cute red skirt that she briefly considered keeping in lieu of her $4 deposit, the brothers Kearney got to stroll the grounds in loud reminders to everyone that we didn't read the guidebook too closely.

The palace grounds, which also include one of the country's most precious temples, Wat Phra Kaew, was insanely beautiful and ornate. I say insane because I felt a mild madness overtaking me as I tried to prioritize my picture-taking. Literally every building on the grounds deserves to be photographed from all sides and many of the structures are very close together--I felt like a mouse walking though a maze where the walls are made of cheese.

Wat Phra Kaew

Preparing to enter and see the famous Emerald Buddha

One of the many golden Buddhas on the palace grounds

The palace, built in 1782, is a national treasure in Thailand, where reverance for the king is total. His oversized portraits line the city boulevards, his name graces so many parks and buildings, and there's a law against insulting him. I know what you're thinking, but Thailand is neither a dictatorship nor a personality cult. It's a functioning democracy and King Adulyadej is beloved like a father. His role, much like the palace, is mostly ceremonial.

After taking in the palace and a few more gorgeous temples, including Wat Pho which houses the largest Reclining Buddha in Thailand (coming in at 46 meters by 15 meters), in the heat and humidity of the day, we retired back to our hostel and some well-deserved Thai food dishes. Lots of rice, lots of noodles, and tons of spice.

As always, more pictures can be found by clicking on "Our Photos" on the right sidebar.